I remember when I was 18, self-righteous, full of hypocrisy and thought I had the full story and knew everything.
Yep, those were the days when you feel immortal and that nothing you say and do will ever come back to haunt you.
And then you grow up and get a little “life dirt” on you and realize that you really don’t know everything; that you didn’t have the full story; that life is full of lessons – really hard lessons that you will hopefully not have to keep learning.
You regret decisions you made and things you said.
You realize that throwing stones from a glass house is not the best approach.
And, if and when you have children, you realize that your parents are very fallible human beings, just like you; that having kids is the best and most difficult thing you will ever do; that you have to suddenly redefine who you are and sacrifice in ways that you truly have no perspective of until you have children. Not always easy, but certainly the point of why we are here.
We don’t always get it right, but we try. It’s personal evolution.
One may not agree with the choices ones parents make, but until you have your own, your perspective will always be narrow.
It’s a very hard thing to distill and work through. It’s a life-long effort.
Avoidance does nothing but prolong the inevitable. You don’t ever get off that easy.
Age and experience, if nothing else, provides perspective.
Let’s talk in 20 years…
This is why I avoid it. The minor fall and the major lift….the goosebumps, the song, the music.
I hear my daughter laughing in the other room and my guitar calling out to me. Such a perfect metaphor of my life as I now know it.
I love my life. I do, but I do miss music. I miss that release.
Ya, this sounds like drama, but…. I twists me into a knot sometimes.
I miss it so much.
How can you have both? I have convinced myself you can’t. So I just bury it. I push it down. I avoid it. And then, in a moment of weakness, I seek it out and then I fight to put Pandora back in the box.
Anyone who knows me well knows how much of an animal lover and advocate I am.
I tend to like and trust them more then people. I fall pretty hard. Which really sucks when there are days like today. Continue reading “Freeway Takes on Cancer”
Sometime while I am doing things around the house and not really paying attention to anything. I look up and am instantly yanked out of my daydreams and see my child walking around the house and it just trips me out to see a little person walking around my house. Continue reading “Little Person Reality Checks”
I pretty much wanted to spend the day on the back of all of my ponies and since Livi is still to little to ride and Greg isn’t interested, Greg decided to go exploring.
There is a “town”, a “dot on google” that is called Lakeside. Frankly I am not even sure how to get there.
Greg has been curious about it, so he packed up LuLu and headed out. Continue reading “Livi’s Day with “Datty””
I was all excited to start Livi in daycare. Excited for some freedom, excited for her to play with little people and to socialize. And then the reality of dropping her off and LEAVING HER hit me today. Continue reading “Livi’s First Day at Daycare”