I knew this day would come. Today was that day when my lack of restraint, patience and overall personal editing was held up to my face like a mirror.
When Greg and I picked Liv up from school today, she was sitting quietly and playing Lego’s with a friend.
We were greeted by Miss Kelsey, one of Livia’s sweet teachers who proceeded to tell me my daughter was “funny” today.
“Livia was playing earlier with the Lego’s and knocked over one of her lego towers.”
She (Livia) then yelled out “SON OF A BITCH!”
Greg just looked at my with a look that says “This is all on you.”
Miss Kelsey replied “Livia! What did you say?”
To which Livia replied “SHIT!”
To which Miss Kelsey replied, “Livia! What did you say?”
To which Livia responded, “Darn-it?”
“Ok. That’s what I thought you said.”
So part of my giggled just a little bit on the inside. I mean come on. It is kinda funny.
At least she didn’t drop the F-bomb.
But then the responsible parent kicks in and thinks “I really need to watch what I say around this kid.”
Ya, good luck with that.
“Mom, I appreciate if you would eat your treat balls. I’m gonna put “them” right here so you can share wis me okay?
Mom? I appreciate that you can eat ’em wis me.
She takes a bite of the white chocolate truffle.
I ask, “what’s inside Livia?”
“Is butter,” she says with a huge grin on her cute little face.
Starting my day by heading to Wal-Mart with a baby in tow is not where I thought I would be right now.
My job, like so many others already have, has ended. I am not really dealing with it very well.
A job has never defined me really, but it has given me purpose. It’s given me power. It’s given me confidence.
I have always been able to provide for myself and while my family will be fine, I don’t like giving up that power. I feel vulnerable and frankly, weak. Not words I like to define myself by.
Look, I know there are many out there that say mothering is the most difficult job there it. I am not going to argue that at all. It’s a bitch sometimes. You give up freedom, SLEEP, spontaneity, showers on a regular basis, a sex life, etc. I know that I have a job raising Livi and that it’s more important than anything else I can be doing right now, but why don’t I believe that yet? I SUCK.
Why do I respect other homemaker’s but yet don’t want that title? Maybe I am just lying to myself when I say that I do. Again, I seriously SUCK.
Welcome to your new life.