Starting my day by heading to Wal-Mart with a baby in tow is not where I thought I would be right now.
My job, like so many others already have, has ended. I am not really dealing with it very well.
A job has never defined me really, but it has given me purpose. It’s given me power. It’s given me confidence.
I have always been able to provide for myself and while my family will be fine, I don’t like giving up that power. I feel vulnerable and frankly, weak. Not words I like to define myself by.
Look, I know there are many out there that say mothering is the most difficult job there it. I am not going to argue that at all. It’s a bitch sometimes. You give up freedom, SLEEP, spontaneity, showers on a regular basis, a sex life, etc. I know that I have a job raising Livi and that it’s more important than anything else I can be doing right now, but why don’t I believe that yet? I SUCK.
Why do I respect other homemaker’s but yet don’t want that title? Maybe I am just lying to myself when I say that I do. Again, I seriously SUCK.
Welcome to your new life.